Lyrics:
Lyrics for 3 songs in player (bold)
album with 13 songs listed below:
Alien in a Bottle
Locals Only
Face in Nature
Old Fashioned Screw
Almost
End bush Regime
Time to Grow Some
Summer Vacation
Mile High Club
Mayonnaise On It
Faker
Surf Nazi 666
Too comfortable with War
Alien in a Bottle:
Lisa went downtown to get a birthday gift
She went to Spencer's cause things are cool and hip
Then something in the corner of the store caught her eye
It was an alien with a green light
Chorus: Michael got an alien in a bottle (4x)
Michael took it home and put it on his Marshall amp
He drank too much Patron and left on the lamp
Then the alien began to grow and mutate
It broke the jar and it began to levitate
Repeat chorus
Locals Only:
I drove out the valley so deep to get some tasty waves
I took the canyon road to escape the grit and haze
By the time I got to the tunnel the fog was rolling in
And when I got to the beach there was something written in red
Chorus: Locals only tough titties; Locals only tough titties is what they say. Locals only tough titties don’t go out or you’ll get a surf board enema that will make you shout.
I headed up the coast in my camper van to see who was paddling out
By the time I got to Zuma beach I took a gander south
Westward beach was barreling so I finally got some tasty waves
But when I got out of the water someone pushed my van over a cliff and they painted on it
Repeat chorus
When I see you in the lineup we shall have to have some discourse
What shall we do with those punks trashing our cars on the shore?
Shall we tie them up with duct tie and roll them each in a Venetian blind?
And chop them up into pieces and feed them to the sharks late at night?
Repeat chorus
Face in Nature:
I need my face in nature
I’ve been sitting at this damn desk all day
I’m feeling kinda blue and I wanna be close to you
I need my face in nature
Remember when we went down to Old Mexico
We climbed the mountain so high with the surf pounding down below
Salt spray in my face and a scratchy bush I’ll take anytime
I need my face in your nature
I need my face in nature
There’s your photograph on my desk and I’m feeling really bereft
I gotta figure a way out of here and my mission is oh so clear
I need my face in your nature
Old Fashion Screw
We knew there were gonna be a lot of cowboy hats
Balloon drops confetti and damage control
But what we didn’t plan for came our way
What we got instead was an old fashioned screw
Chorus: An old fashioned screw is what we got
An old fashioned screw whether we liked it or not
An old fashioned screw is what we got
An old fashioned screw with dubya on top
The boys down at the Pentagon…they got it right
They gave us an enemy and kept us up all night
Then they said we needed some homeland security
But what we got instead was an old fashioned screwing
Repeat chorus
(Break)
Repeat chorus
Almost
There was a little toy shop in the old part of town
Peeling black paint, pink lettering, and a camera pointed down
Inside there was red baron, black beauty, and the silver streak
And under the front counter glass were the bumpy ones for the a-hole freaks.
Chorus: I almost bought my wife a dildo the other day (2x)
If I was asked to explain myself I’d have to tell them to try one for themselves
Chorus
That little toy shop was under fire from the community guard
They were marching and waving their protest placards
They said its pornographic but its erotica plain and simple
I’d rather be playing with my wife than going overseas and killing people
Chorus
If I was asked to explain myself I’d have to tell them its for someone else
Chorus
I almost bought my wife a raincoat, it had diamonds rubies and sapphires.
I almost bought my wife a cruise ship; it had Ricardo Montebon in it.
I almost bought my wife a Lear Jet…it had a hot tub so she could get wet.
I almost bought my wife an 18 hole golf course so she could whack it.
I almost bought my wife a French café so she could have escargot anyway.
I almost bought my wife a trip into space so she could use her dildo in weightlessness.
I almost bought my wife a hot air balloon so she could have wine and cheese close to the moon.
I almost bought my wife an ice cream cone with nuts so I could see her tongue lick it.
A red one, a black one, silver one, the other day, a lumpy one, a ribbed one,
corrugated one …the other day.
I almost…almost….almost…the other day Hey Hey
End of Bush Regime:
The policeman stopped me, may I see your insurance and ID?
What’s that sign in your window? Say it to the judge before jail
Chorus: End the Bush Regime ….what? (3x)
Shave it off …its dirty!
Wolfowitz, Pearle, Chaney, and Powell, we don’t want you coming around
They’re not men ….not men of peace
They’re making a safer world for Mickey Mouse and Pepsi
(repeat Chorus)
George W stepped in a pile of shit, No one knows how deep it is
Ten thousand Iraqis protesting in the streets
With no water to drink and no two-ply T.P.
(Repeat chorus)
Like a dead mongoose throw him in the Ganges
Like a dead chicken throw him in the Euphrates
Like a road kill armadillo throw him in the Rio Grande
There’s nothing that goes here except all I wanna say is Fuck Dick Chaney and the Bush Regime
(Repeat chorus)
Time to Grow Some:
Something Dad told me was that sometimes you have to do things you normally wouldn’t do
Like turn the guest room in the main house into a bitchin bio-tech grow room
Chorus: It’s time …..to grow some marijuana
When things are looking pretty bad
It’s easier to face the future with a bamboo pipe in your hand
A bamboo pipe in your hand (2x)
Its time to grow some marijuana
Get a metal halide lamp and aluminum for the walls and ceiling
Get a waterproof rubber mat and don’t’ forget the heavy duty exhaust fan
Return to chorus
Summer Vacation:
Gotta finger up my butt
And two left shoes
Gonna go downtown
And get a tattoo
Chorus: On my summer vacation
Oh yea, my summer vacation, summer vacation
What ya gonna do…it can happen to you
On your summer vacation
Your summer vacation
Gonna go to the beach
And read a magazine
Gonna look real smart
And let out a fart
REPEAT CHORUS
Gonna go to the mall
And feel real tall
Gonna get a sundae, and get a strange lay
REPEAT CHORUS
Mile High Club
I saw her in the terminal and helped her with her baggage
We stopped at her gate and she said, "Thanks I can manage"
I realized we were on the same flight and she said
Maybe we can sit together …yeah…that’ll be all right
Break
Next thing I knew there was a bottle of tequila,br> She put it to her lips and it was anything but a sip
She said a year in prison hasn’t been good to me
As the liquor flowed freely and the lights dimmed for the movie
Chorus: On the mile high club (4x)
I asked her if she was flying for business or pleasure
She said it all depends on how much you measure
She pulled the blanket up and things started getting hot
It was easier for me to wiggle her than for me to Yankovich me off
Break
The man sitting next to us was reading the Bible he had to for his moral and religious survival.
People were getting nervous so we headed to the back
She said it was her turn for her to do me right
Chorus (6x)
Mayonnaise On It:
He’s standing there in a khaki jumpsuit
In front of an old jet plane
He stayed out at the bar cavorting too late
He medicated early and often every now and then
He disappeared for a stretch
Thank God that cocaine is working again
I'll see if I can talk him out ...maybe he will come to my side
He is a sinner with a bottle of gin I know I can talk him out
Of it this time
Chorus: Put some mayonnaise on it...don’t have to think too hard (it taste real fine) Spread it on nice and thick…sit down with a spoon and dog it out of a jar. 2x
He goes down to pick up Pat, on Air Force One
They’re in the limo grinding their pork rinds
It’s all been arranged for me
The juniper bar is stocked with Popov
It’s not his favorite but he’ll drink it
He’s being groomed for a suckers job
It’s the US presidency
REPEAT CHORUS
Sit right down with a spoon…3X
Dog it out of a jar
REPEAT
Sit right down with a spoon…and dog it out of a jar 3X
(back to verse progression)
Wipe that mayonnaise off that limousine seat and spread it over his khaki jumpsuit
He deserves it, he deserves it, he deserves it….
REPEAT CHORUS
Faker: She faked it some of the time
Her bootie and I didn’t mind
As long as she’s around
I didn’t have to go uptown
Chorus: She a good faker (3x)
Anytime, I don't mind
Anytime, I don't mind
(Repeat verse 1)
Faker, Faker, Faker, Faker, Faker, Faker, Faker, Faker, yeah
(Return to chorus)
She twisted around
and shouted out
Ooooh that feels good
well you can count me out
(Chorus)
(Repeat 2nd verse)
(Repeat chorus)
Surf Nazi 666
He was born June 6th, l966. He went down to the store to get some surf equipment.
He tried on the plastic neoprene German helmet and he really liked the red and black swastika rash guard He is the only one we can call
Chorus: surf Nazi 666 (3x) 666
Surf Nazi (3x) 666
555…444…333…222…111… He’s the only one you can call
Chorus
He stroked out into the water and wasn’t noticed so far until he stood up on his new surf board
Then everyone saw his infamous insignia, they all knew way down deep he was really hard core.
He’s the only one we can call
Chorus
555…444…333…222…111…He’s the only one you can call
Chorus
Too Comfortable with War:
Its easy watching the bombs drop from your easy chair
There goes the 7-11, miniature golf, and the gyro shop
I remember the man who sliced the lamb for my pita sandwich
Now he’s the pulp of history called collateral damage
Chorus:
We’re getting too comfortable with war
Who would push the button, flip the switch, or pull the trigger
To waste a lot of lives for a couple of trouble makers.
We’re getting too comfortable with war
They’re flocking to the military surplus in their 50,000 Humvees
The aviators are moving and those gas masks for that really strange disease
I wonder when the bombs will stop dropping overseas
Or they might just get there when you are sleeping there in your easy chair
Chorus